Love is a fundamental part of our human existence. Napoleon Hill in his book Think and
grow rich says that ‘Sex and love are such powerful forces in driving human motivation’.
Unfortunately, most people suffer and do not experience love in their lives because they
do not know how to love correctly. When people think of love, they think of receiving
rather than giving. Unconditional love is not a school of thought that is understood and
embraced by many.
In my practice as a transformational life coach, as I work with
married couples and singles intending to get into marriage, I realize that most marriages
do not fail because the two are not a great match for each other but because their
expectations of what they should receive from their spouse are either unrealistic or
selfish. Their perception of what love means to them differs and is almost always
centered on self. They fail to embrace their diversity and differences as strength and
view them as a weakness.
What is unconditional love? How can it lead to fulfilling relationships?
Love is an innate part of our human existence that holds the power to enrich our lives in
profound ways. We all crave for love. Unfortunately, individuals find themselves
grappling with the feeling of lack of love not because it is missing but because they do
not fully comprehend the art of giving and receiving love.
Unconditional love is often either overlooked or misunderstood.
It however holds an
immense transformative power that transcends the boundaries of self-interests.
Today we explore the essence of unconditional love and offer guidance on how to
cultivate it in our lives.
Understanding unconditional love
Unlike the conventional notion that revolves around receiving affection, unconditional
love is rooted in selflessness and compassion, it goes beyond the boundaries of
conditions, expectations and judgements. Embracing unconditional love requires a shift
in perspective, from a mindset of “What can I gain?” to “How can I contribute?” This
change in mindset lays the foundation for fulfilling and harmonious relationships.
How can we cultivate unconditional love?
Learning the art of giving
To experience love in its purest form, one must practice giving without expecting
anything in return. This doesn’t necessarily mean material gifts but extends to acts of
kindness, understanding and emotional support. By embracing a giving mindset, one
creates a positive cycle that enhances their own well-being and radiates love to those
around them.
Practicing empathy
Empathy is the cornerstone of unconditional love. It involves understanding and sharing
the feelings of others without judgement. Cultivating empathy allows individuals to
connect more deeply with their loved ones promoting an environment of love and
acceptance. In challenging moments, empathy becomes a bridge that strengthens
relationships and nurtures a sense of emotional security.
Managing and letting go of expectations
Unconditional love thrives in the absence bizarre expectations. Often, people set
specific conditions for love either consciously or unconsciously, expecting reciprocation
or certain behaviors. These expectations are mostly learned in childhood as one grows
up. However, embracing unconditional love requires letting go of these conditions. It
means accepting others as they are, recognizing their imperfections, uniqueness and
loving them unconditionally for who they are and not what they offer. It’s also important
to love and embrace the differences in other people.
Nurturing self-love
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”. Before extending unconditional love to others, it’s
important to cultivate self-love. Acknowledging one’s worth, embracing flaws and
practicing self-compassion creates a solid foundation for spreading love to others.
Self-love is not selfish; it’s the starting point for building meaningful connections based on
genuine care and understanding.
Love in its purest and most fulfilling love is unconditional. By understanding the
principles above, individuals can embark on a journey towards cultivating deeper and
meaningful relationships.
It’s a journey that requires learning, unlearning and relearning
as we aim to perfect our perception of love.
It is therefore important to make unconditional love a guiding force in our lives, creating
a world in which compassion and understanding flourish and everyone experiences the
profound joy of genuine connection.
Marriages and relationships in general will thrive
when guided by unconditional love as a pillar principle.
Learning unconditional love changed my life and can change yours too.
It’s important to
change our mindset towards true and perfect love as demonstrated in the bible: I Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind.. …….. It’s not self-seeking, Love does not
delight in evil but always rejoices in the truth……..
“Love is a cosmic phenomenon and opens to man the fourth dimensional love, the world of
the wonders. Real love is selfless and free from fear. It demands nothing in return. Unselfish
love draws to itself its equivalent. Giving perfect love attracts perfect love.”Florence Scovel Shinn
Wishing you more love,
Happy valentines
